In today’s episode nosotros utter most the role of social media inwards how, why, where together with when, who nosotros grieve. She shares stories of people whose loved ones receive got died, only to observe out that because of social media they are the final to know. Carla provides some digital literacy around decease together with grief inwards the digital age. She talks most social media posts every bit decease notifications, most establishing digital advance directives together with thinking most our digital dust.
She talks most STUG reactions which are Sudden Temporary Upsurges of Grief. I had never heard of a STUG reaction, but I truly had 1 during our conversation. You’ll hear me utter most college friend of mine who died several years agone together with during the interview start to tear upwards every bit I recalled getting a Facebook notification that it was her birthday. We thence talked most cyberspace ghosts, memorial pages, memorial trolls, how together with when people should respond to decease notices online together with what that agency for the loved ones. She suggests that only every bit nosotros furnish sexual activity educational activity to kids, nosotros should endure providing decease education. She also recommends including applied scientific discipline assessment inwards the measure biopsychosocialspiritual assessment. We ended our conversation talking most resources for mental wellness professionals who desire to larn more.
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Bio
Carla Sofka, Ph.D., MSW, is a Professor of Social Work at Siena College inwards Loudonville, NY. In add-on to teaching the introductory course of study inwards social welfare together with social work, physician Sofka teaches enquiry methods together with social operate do courses. She also teaches a Franciscan Concern Diversity course of study entitled Death, Diversity, together with Pop Culture together with has taught an online continuing educational activity course of study on Death together with Grief inwards the Digital Age. physician Sofka has conducted service learning projects inwards conjunction amongst the World Trade Center Exhibit at the New York State Museum together with has studied how museums related to tragedy serve every bit healing spaces. Her electrical flow enquiry focuses on how digital together with social media resources are used to deal amongst illness, death, together with grief. physician Sofka currently serves every bit the co-chair of the Council on Social Work Education's Technology inwards Social Work Education together with Practice Track together with is a past times president of the Association for Death Education together with Counseling.Transcript
IntroductionJonathan Singer: Hey at that topographic point podcast listeners, Jonathan here. Today’s episode of the Social Work Podcast is most Death together with Grief inwards the Digital Age. I desire yous to accept a minute together with think most the people yous know who died inwards the past times year. Were they friends, colleagues, or celebrities? How did yous observe out? Did their deaths stone your world? Did yous observe yourself inwards the throes of grief, unable to focus on the tasks at hand? Or, were they a minute inwards your twenty-four sixty minutes menses that went past times almost unnoticed? I don’t know your friends together with loved ones who died final year. But I am pretty sure nosotros mourned some of the same celebrity deaths.
Prince, David Bowie, Carrie Fisher & Debbie Fisher, George Michael, Harper Lee, Alan Rickman, Muhammad Ali, Arnold Palmer, Elie Weisel, Nancy Reagan, Gene Wilder, Sir George Martin, Leonard Cohen… together with the listing goes on together with on together with on.
It seemed similar every calendar week on social media at that topographic point was some other breaking tidings special most a celebrity who died. And I was wondering – is it only that I’m spending to a greater extent than fourth dimension on social media, or are to a greater extent than celebrities dying? Apparently I’m non the only 1 who asked that question. H5N1 quick Google search found an article from the BBC on this rattling topic. In 2016 BBC tidings published to a greater extent than celebrity obituaries inwards than inwards whatever other year. Nearly one-half of those deaths happened inwards the initiatory of all iii months of 2016, together with inwards the final 2 weeks of 2016 the BBC reported nine celebrity deaths.
Now, for the scientists inwards the crowd I know that counting obituaries isn’t a rigorous empirical method for establishing decease rates. But for the balance of us, it wasn’t only that 2016 had to a greater extent than celebrity deaths. It was that those bumps at the get-go together with the cease of the twelvemonth that made it seem similar they were coming fast together with furious. And social media gave us a way to percentage most it together with utter most it together with grieve together inwards ways that never would receive got happened 20 years ago. Not only did I larn things I never knew most these celebrities, but I also learned things most my friends. Social media made it possible for us to grieve together with percentage together.
But plenty most Ziggy Stardust, Prince, together with Princess Leia. Let’s acquire dorsum to you. If yous had a loved 1 decease final year, did yous experience pressured past times the electrical flow zeitgeist of “if it didn’t go on on social media it didn’t truly happen?” How did yous come upwards to the conclusion to post or non to post? When yous thought most the post, did yous welcome the alluvion of condolences or did it brand yous desire to run together with hide? There are thence many questions most decease together with grief inwards the digital age. And that’s why I spoke amongst physician Carla Sofka, professor of Social Work at Siena College. physician Sofka has been studying together with writing most the intersection of applied scientific discipline together with decease together with grief since the earliest days of the globe broad web. Her edited 2012 text, Dying, Death together with Grief inwards an Online Universe, looks at how changes inwards communication applied scientific discipline receive got revolutionized the patch of thanatology, which is a fancy word for the study of death. She has chapters most decease education, thanatechnology, which is a fancy word for the intersection of applied scientific discipline together with decease studies, together with how to create online communities of back upwards – 1 of my favorite chapter titles is “In Cyberspace, There's No Such Thing every bit Disenfranchised Grief”.
In today’s episode nosotros utter most the role of social media inwards how, why, where together with when, who nosotros grieve. She shares stories of people whose loved ones receive got died, only to observe out that because of social media they are the final to know. Carla provides some digital literacy around decease together with grief inwards the digital age: she talks most social media posts every bit decease notifications, most establishing digital advance directives together with thinking most our digital dust. She talks most STUG reactions which are Sudden Temporary Upsurges of Grief. I had never heard of a STUG reaction, but I truly had 1 during our conversation. You’ll hear me utter most college friend of mine who died several years agone together with during the interview start to tear upwards every bit I recalled getting a Facebook notification that it was her birthday. We thence talked most cyberspace ghosts, memorial pages, memorial trolls, how together with when people should respond to decease notices online together with what that agency for the loved ones. She suggests that only every bit nosotros furnish sexual activity educational activity to kids, nosotros should endure providing decease education. She also recommends including applied scientific discipline assessment inwards the measure biopsychosocialspiritual assessment. We ended our conversation talking most resources for mental wellness professionals who desire to larn more. If you’re interested inwards other podcast episodes most death, I highly recommend starting amongst the listing seat together past times Qeepr.com: http://www.qeepr.com/blog/best-podcast-episodes-about-death/.
Before nosotros acquire to the episode, I desire to give a yell out to Tierra Montgomery, college pupil transferring into Mathematics at USC-Aiken, for generously donating the transcription of Episode 100 – Private Practice amongst physician Julie Hanks. If yous desire to back upwards the podcast past times donating a transcript, delight shipping me an email. You tin give the sack bring together the community of listeners on Twitter together with Facebook. We’re doing an audience survey together with I would honey to acquire your feedback. The link is on the top correct of the Social Work Podcast website. And, if yous honey the podcast, delight leave of absence a review on iTunes.
And now, without farther ado, on to episode 109 of the Social Work Podcast: Death together with Grief inwards the Digital Age: Interview amongst Carla Sofka, Ph.D.
Interview
[00:7:58]
Jonathan Singer: Carla, cheers thence much for beingness hither on the social operate podcast. So what's unlike most decease together with grief inwards the digital age?
Carla Sofka: Well I think decease is able to come upwards out of the closet. Even though hospice has been around for a long fourth dimension there's even thence a lot of situations where people are rattling reluctant to utter most death; rattling reluctant to utter publicly most their grief because it's even thence rattling awkward together with uncomfortable. And I'm non sure that awkwardness or discomfort is ever going to totally go away, but applied scientific discipline is sure enough giving people unlike options to utter most it inwards ways that seem to endure to a greater extent than comfortable.
[00:08:33]
Jonathan Singer: We are pretty uncomfortable talking most death, aren't we?
Carla Sofka: Well why should nosotros endure comfortable? Nobody wants to hold off frontwards to it. It's non something that nosotros larn how to bargain with. Unlike most things inwards school, it's rare for people to receive got a decease class-- to receive got an chance to larn most decease together with grief unless they're thrown into it for some reason.
[00:08:58]
Jonathan Singer: And thence what is it most applied scientific discipline that makes talking most decease together with grief different?
Carla Sofka: Well, I think applied scientific discipline yous don't necessarily receive got to go online together with utter most it unless yous desire to. So it gives yous a choice. And I think the other affair that it does is it takes the clit per unit of measurement area off. I hear people tell stories afterward they experienced a loss that sometimes they'll endure walking inwards a populace place, they'll come across someone they know, the somebody they know sees them together with they all of a precipitous alter management or walk the other way or country "hey, how yous doing?" Really don't desire to know the respond together with endeavour to leave of absence of that awkward together with uncomfortable conversation. But, if you're inwards an online environment, yous go at that topographic point past times choice. You don't receive got the clit per unit of measurement area of having to think quickly. You receive got fourth dimension to carefully consider what yous desire to say. You tin give the sack come across what other people are doing together with sometimes it’s easier to know what to country or do if yous receive got something to model after. And yous tin give the sack also think most what yous desire to communicate earlier yous receive got to country it --you tin give the sack invention it out. There's also something rattling unlike most anonymity –and I know this comes upwards related to other topics but-- sometimes total strangers volition go onto a memorial site together with volition start to limited their back upwards or their condolences to someone they never met. And that's an absolutely fascinating phenomenon inwards together with of itself. But to someone who knows most it together with studies grief, it makes perfect sense because yous go at that topographic point past times choice, yous may receive got a rattling personal experience that yous know what they're thinking, yous know a picayune fleck most what they're feeling together with yous know how awkward it is when other people don't know how to back upwards you. So you're that somebody instantly who's the goodness together with it's rattling comfortable to go together with allow somebody know they're non alone. And that's what's happening online.
Jonathan Singer: So folks receive got the chance to voluntarily displace into this discussion, to displace into this infinite where decease is beingness talked about. And they don't receive got to utter most it but they tin give the sack even thence endure inwards the space. Or they tin give the sack endure inwards the space, utter most it, but endure anonymous. So it sounds similar the digital historic menses provides all these unlike levels together with layers to talking most decease that weren't around earlier the digital age.
Carla Sofka: Exactly, because yous had to seek it out before. And past times seeking it out, that mightiness hateful consciously making a selection to go to a funeral dwelling if yous know someone who has lost a loved one. You go to the visitation, yous go to the wake, together with yous tin give the sack determine what you're going to country together with do. You know, I recall dorsum dwelling inwards the olden days you'd walk into the funeral dwelling together with you'd endure inwards the position unit of measurement job together with people would awkwardly come upwards up together with mitt yous their hand. "You receive got my sympathy, yous receive got my sympathy", together with sort of only walk downward the job maxim that because that's all they knew what to do. But when yous go into an online space, yous tin give the sack read what other people are maxim yous tin give the sack acquire a sense of what mightiness endure comforting to someone. So inwards a way it's sort of an educational infinite but it's also a infinite for social support. So if yous don't know what to do yous tin give the sack go at that topographic point together with learn.
[00:13:04]
Jonathan Singer: I'm thinking of the times where I've been on Facebook together with I've seen somebody post maxim something like, 'We said goodbye to my manlike somebody rear today. He was a wonderful man.' Well I mightiness know the somebody but I mightiness non receive got had whatever thought that their dad was sick or had died all of a precipitous together with thence all of a precipitous I observe myself inwards this province of affairs of do I ignore the post? Do I click the similar button? Which is only a terrible option. But thence I do. I read below together with it seems similar the most mutual affair people country is "I'm thence sorry for your loss," which seems similar a modern twenty-four sixty minutes menses version of "you receive got my sympathies." So of all the things yous could country most this, what recommendation would yous receive got for folks when they come across something similar that together with they desire to furnish back upwards but aren't sure what to do?
Carla Sofka: Well I think instantly that Facebook got smart together with gave us other options that helps. I wishing they seat a hug clit on at that topographic point because only letting someone know you're thinking most them is truly all yous demand to country together with it's perfectly okay to think most that. I often volition only say, "keeping yous inwards my thoughts" together with if the somebody is a spiritual or religious somebody together with yous mightiness percentage that, yous mightiness country "keeping yous inwards my thoughts together with prayers" or "thinking of yous during this fourth dimension every bit yous country goodbye to your dad." It truly doesn't receive got to endure lengthy together with I'm non sure inwards that immediate initiatory of all brace days or hours afterward a decease how much people are going online. But when things calm downward for them together with they're feeling alone, they might go online together with if they come across 75 people who clicked a button—even if it's that similar clit that's sort of weird—they know yous were thinking most them. And that's going to hateful something to them. So fifty-fifty if yous only go inwards together with signal that yous were at that topographic point that's going to brand a large departure for them.
[00:14: 12]
Jonathan Singer: So when I read most somebody's decease online, does that qualify every bit a decease notification?
Carla Sofka: Absolutely, it does. The line a fast 1 on is whether or non it's happening inwards the way that would endure most comfortable for you. And that's going to depend on a lot of things. That's going to depend on where yous are at the fourth dimension yous read it. Are yous inwards the privacy of your ain home? So that if yous humanly react amongst tears, or you're rattling upset ,that you're non worried most who is witnessing that rattling normal reaction. The other slice is how you're related to the somebody who died. Should yous endure finding out on social media? Or should that endure communicated inwards a much to a greater extent than personal way?
[00:15:09]
Jonathan Singer: So you're maxim that together with I'm thinking, yous know for most of the ones that I've read --and yous know, I'm inwards my mid 40s thence there's to a greater extent than decease than when I was younger-- but instantly that yous advert that at that topographic point were a brace of times I was thinking it only happened, I wonder if people are finding out via social media, similar if everybody is only finding out.
Carla Sofka: Well it's interesting because yous wonder what do yous do amongst data when yous acquire it. And inwards the olden days, when I was a kid inwards the stone age, my parents had 1 telephone on the wall. So when somebody called amongst bad news, odds were my parents were going to endure inwards command of that data together with they could determine when they would sit down my blood brother downward together with I together with tell us what had happened. But instantly yous tin give the sack acquire this data inwards an instant. You tin give the sack seat it out for the whole globe to see. The tricky purpose is would yous desire to observe out that way? And if it's happening rattling apace afterward the tragedy-- I recall a province of affairs inwards my community. There was a automobile crash involving 4 high schoolhouse students, together with inwards the fourth dimension that it took for 1 of the kid's woman rear to acquire to the infirmary at that topographic point were already 30 people who weren't related to him who had gotten downward to the waiting room together with were at that topographic point because of data shared that was shared on social media most the crash. What did the automobile hold off like? The students were texting each other, together with the people they couldn't acquire a concord of—the 4 students—travelled together. And when their friends seat it together, 'OK, I can't acquire a concord of this one', 'I can't acquire a concord of this one' they figured out they couldn't acquire a concord of the 4 that they knew had only gone to a basketball game game together. They knew who was inwards the car. And thence when 1 of the immature men's woman rear had gotten to the infirmary his football game charabanc was already at that topographic point before, she was able to acquire there. So the chaplain sat her downward together with delivered the unfortunate tidings that her boy had died, together with the adjacent affair out of her oral fissure was "do yous receive got other children who aren't at home? How fast tin give the sack yous acquire a concord of him thence that he doesn't observe out his blood brother died on twitter?" And thence I think yous truly receive got to carefully consider is the data that yous receive got accurate? Because kids inwards the community were truly distressed that data was going around wasn’t true. They were getting upset most things they hadn’t verified. So that makes it difficult. And thence are at that topographic point people who truly should non endure finding out on social media? There hasn’t been fourth dimension to properly go far touching amongst them together with tell them inwards a way they deserve to larn this horrible news. So, I think yous receive got to endure careful most how impulsively yous percentage what yous learn.
[00:17:50]
Jonathan Singer: I tin give the sack imagine that inwards add-on to the—just the overwhelming grief of having only lost a son—that the mom also had feelings most other people knowing first, together with sort of the waiting room beingness full, together with sort of having to negotiate these other things.
Carla Sofka: Well purpose of that, too, is when you’re given the worst tidings of your life yous demand to endure able to just focus on your ain reaction. And sometimes people experience obligated to accept tending of other people if they only go on to endure there. And unfortunately she had no command over who she invited into that story or not. Social media took tending of that for her. And when you’re dealing amongst grief, command is a truly of import affair together with to accept that from someone else is a challenge.
[00:19:03]
Jonathan Singer: So I know that teenagers communicate through social media. You know at that topographic point tin give the sack endure a grand communications inwards a unmarried waking day, but we’re non inwards those spaces every bit adults, right? I hateful I’m non snapchatting amongst xiii year-olds—thank goodness right? And thence how do yous accolade together with admit how teenagers are communicating amongst each other—sort of accolade that if they are afraid that 1 of their friends is dead that they also receive got needs? And yet deal this thought of snapchat every bit the largest PA system, yous know, the universe has ever seen?
Carla Sofka: Well that’s a truly interesting dilemma, because I’m a large believer inwards allowing people to grieve inwards the way that they demand to grieve. And at that topographic point are clearly generational differences related to that. I think the of import affair is to assist each other communicate. What do yous need? And thence all of us dinosaurs out at that topographic point who are learning most the powerfulness of social media, nosotros demand to abide by that you’re precisely right: that is their world; that is their way of talking. And sometimes I think it’s easier for kids to utter amongst their fingers than to utter amongst their voice. And so, what’s wrong? Are they pain anything past times doing that? I think nosotros demand to abide by that. The other slice though is to instruct them most the consequences of their actions. So if learning most loss if new, if learning most how to deal amongst tragedy is new, yous instruct them what yous can, but yous also give them the adventure to instruct yous most what they need. So only having those goodness old-fashioned sit-downs without the texting is helpful, but thence letting them text if that’s the way they demand to cope.
[00:20:30]
Jonathan Singer: So are yous suggesting that 1 of the things that nosotros should do every bit parents, every bit educators, is to receive got conversations amongst kids, middle school, high school, perhaps fifty-fifty younger, most similar think twice earlier yous text out that yous think someone’s dead? Is that what you’re saying?
Carla Sofka: Yeah, I gauge that’s what I’m saying. Well together with yous know back, every bit long every bit at that topographic point has been recorded history, at that topographic point receive got been books most etiquette. Now nosotros only telephone call upwards it something else nosotros telephone call upwards it “netiquette.” And thence when you’re teaching your kids manners yous sit down them downward together with yous endeavour to educate them most this stuff. This is no unlike it’s only an unusual topic. So initiatory of all the adults receive got to acquire comfortable having conversations amongst their kids most death. Then they receive got to invite their kids to instruct them most how they work applied scientific discipline to cope. And only assist them think’ well, how would yous experience if this happened?’ And only endeavour together with heighten their awareness most how somebody else mightiness react rattling differently to something that they are perfectly comfortable with. I only finished writing most suggestions for ok, how do yous receive got these conversations? So perhaps it’s purpose of digital literacy together with perhaps schools demand to convey people inwards who are familiar amongst this together with receive got workshops amongst PTA that educate the parents most how kids are using social media together with educate the kids most what happens if someone your historic menses dies. Because sadly that’s happening to a greater extent than together with to a greater extent than every bit people acquire younger together with younger past times the fourth dimension they come upwards to me at my Death together with Dying degree at the campus they already know people who died inwards accidents, they know friends who receive got committed suicide. They’re getting introduced to this whether nosotros similar it or not. So introducing comfortable ways when they don’t demand to learn. To educate them, it’s only similar sexual activity educational activity but it’s decease ed instead.
[00:22:37]
Jonathan Singer: So, it’s thence interesting to think most having, sort of, decease ed classes for students. But I know that because of my enquiry together with involvement amongst suicide prevention together with youth, that there’s also a role that schools play inwards responding to death. Not only suicide death, but how they work social media together with how they communicate amongst folks. Do yous receive got whatever advice most that?
Carla Sofka: Well, I think the initiatory of all affair that I’ve learned from the people who’ve lived amongst this receive got educated me is that they the initiatory of all demand to utter to the families together with to observe out what sort of data they’re comfortable having seat on a populace space. So, to perhaps identify a liaison who’s going to attain out to the families every bit before long every bit possible together with only brand sure that they’re non doing anything that’s uncomfortable for the families because I don’t think anyone would desire to do that. I think the other affair websites, social media is a corking way to relay practical information. H5N1 lot of people observe it rattling helpful to give data most the memorial services, or funerals, visitations. Any sort of way that they tin give the sack communicate that without someone having to brand a 1000000 telephone calls, because that’s 1 of the beauties of social media: it gets data out very, rattling quickly. I think the other affair is if they desire to give practical back upwards together with help, at that topographic point are wonderful websites instantly called mealtrain.com where yous tin give the sack coordinate casserole brigades. So at that topographic point are rattling practical resources out at that topographic point to help. I think the other affair though is to think most how are they going to assist their students work social media responsibly. So doing trainings together with only having it endure a purpose of digital literacy inwards the schoolhouse is such a normal affair to do. Having staff who are familiar amongst these things together with are educated most social media together with how to work it wisely is also I think a purpose of administrator preparation together with instructor preparation that I’m non sure if colleges for those professionals receive got caught up, but there’s a lot that they tin give the sack do to endure proactive: having social media policies that receive got thought out how they’re going to work those resources during times of precipitous decease or tragedy is rattling of import too.
[00:25:08]
Jonathan Singer: And I know amongst applied scientific discipline changing together with social media changing i that it tin give the sack endure tough to maintain upwards amongst that. H5N1 adult woman I went to college amongst died, she had MS, together with I recall the initiatory of all twelvemonth afterward she died I got a notice from facebook, “Wish Amy a Happy Birthday!” And I thought ‘oooh’ together with thence I went to her page together with what I saw was beautiful: at that topographic point were all these people that had said yous know --I’m violent upwards here-- like “Amy, nosotros immature lady you.” yous know together with “Happy Birthday!” together with “I promise you’re having a goodness fourth dimension wherever yous are.”
Carla Sofka: Well, it’s interesting because facebook did develop a policy, they telephone call upwards it a “legacy contact.” So that yous receive got the powerfulness to anticipate what mightiness go on to your social media inwards the trial of your death. So if yous desire to appoint someone who yous thence give basically command over your facebook together with educate them most what you’d want. Because at that topographic point are both pros together with cons to doing what they telephone call upwards “memorializing” a page together with what that does is it prevents people from interacting amongst the site inwards same way. So yous don’t receive got every bit much liberty to receive got the sort of dialogues together with conversations. And some families receive got told me they absolutely honey when people go along together with percentage stories or percentage pictures because they sometimes larn things most their loved 1 that they did non know. On the other hand, sometimes people volition post things that aren't helpful, for illustration the story of a mom who had consciously chosen non to go to the cemetery yet to come across the headstone on her son’s grave. together with a good pregnant friend posted a moving painting on the page together with when yous only go along yous don’t necessarily know what you’re going to come across together with thence she happened to come across that page spell she was at operate . She did non desire to come across the picture. So again, thinking rattling carefully most what yous post. Is it going to endure helpful? Or could it potentially endure interpreted inwards a way yous do non intend? Because I know that somebody did non receive got bad intentions, it only wasn’t what the position unit of measurement needed. So trying to think most how it’s going to comport upon folks, but also beingness sort of prepared for the possibility that things are going to grab yous off guard. And there’s truly a clinical term for that, it’s called the “STUG Reaction.” Which is a Subsequent Temporary Upsurge of Grief, where yous receive got a trigger that yous may endure able to predict: similar a birthday, or a holiday, or a special appointment that yous shared when you’re naturally going to endure thinking most someone. And there’s truly a term for that it’s called an “internet ghost,” when yous acquire a prompt from someone’s page that is only sent out because it hasn’t been memorialized. And those things yous tin give the sack smiling but sometimes yous tin give the sack also shed a tear it only sort of depends on where you’re at inwards the procedure of coping amongst loss. So I gauge thinking rattling carefully most what opportunities that takes away together with what things it mightiness foreclose if yous memorialize a page. Because at that topographic point are also horrible things that go on on these pages, memorial trolls sometimes volition seek out memorial sites together with sort of hold off for strangers who are posting together with only harangue, or only endure absolutely nasty most things. And it’s fascinating, there’s a study truly that interviewed trolls to sympathize why they do what they do together with they basically said that they don’t experience it’s appropriate for someone who didn’t know the deceased to go along together with post. And I think truly that’s sort of shortsighted, because what I’ve learned from the total strangers who’ve posted on memorial pages is that if a instance is publicized inwards the media, fifty-fifty if they didn’t know the somebody who died, fifty-fifty if they don’t know the position unit of measurement members, they typically receive got had a rattling personal loss that is almost identical to the 1 that the griever is experiencing together with they know what it feels similar to endure unsupported, they know how hard it is for people to know what it is to say. There’s a term called “emotional rubbernecking” to depict when a total stranger goes online to depict this. And when I read the article I had a pretty strong negative reaction, because every bit a clinician I could think of all kinds of reasons why a total stranger would go on. And thence I’d similar to telephone call upwards it “experiential empathy” because they receive got the powerfulness to relate to what a somebody is experiencing together with they desire to go along together with endure supportive because they know how helpful that back upwards was for them, together with they desire to give something back. And thence it’s only absolutely fascinating how yous tin give the sack receive got 2 people react on the totally contrary side of the ground to this same thing.
[00:29:34]
Jonathan Singer: So do yous receive got whatever tips or advice for helping professionals?
Carl Sofka: Well I think the most of import affair to do is to operate it into your assessment process. You think most social support; this is digital social support. So how tin give the sack yous weave inwards questions? Do people work social media? Have they used it afterward a tragedy or inwards coping amongst a death? What types of social media do they use? What receive got their experiences been? Because they volition tell yous if they’ve had goodness experiences. They volition tell yous if they’ve had unfortunate experiences. And thence you’re going to larn to a greater extent than most the pros together with cons of these kinds of things. So weave it into your social history assessment. You should e'er do a loss history assessment anyway. The other affair is to if you’re non a tech somebody yous got to dive in, together with yous only go along larn most these things firsthand because that is the best instructor other than your clients. And thence I think the other thing, we’ve mentioned a brace of pros together with cons already that twitter together with facebook together with other social networking sites are a corking way to acquire data out quickly, but yous lose command of that information. So brand rattling wise choices most the timing together with what yous post on social media. I think the other affair to think most is that if people aren't savvy users of technology, they mightiness non endure aware that bad things tin give the sack happen. So beingness familiar amongst the phenomenon of trolling because sometimes it’s smart to receive got a liaison for the position unit of measurement monitor social media. So that if they’re inwards the thick of coping amongst a loss, receive got somebody else endure responsible for what’s happening on those pages. So that they don’t receive got to endure hypervigilant most monitoring what’s going on. And give somebody administrative privileges thence if at that topographic point is a comment that shouldn't endure upwards at that topographic point they tin give the sack accept it downward or they tin give the sack block a user if somebody is causing problems. So beingness familiar amongst the administrative workings. I think the other affair if yous are a hospice social worker, yous do advanced directives for wellness care. There is instantly a whole trunk of literature evolving most digital advanced directives together with doing planning for your digital dust. So thinking most what yous desire to receive got go on to your ain applied scientific discipline inwards the trial something happens to you. And appointing somebody, writing downward your passwords, putting them inwards a safe place, thence that if somebody needs to acquire access to your materials they can. Then yous don't receive got to go struggle amongst twitter or facebook or whatever of those other places to acquire access to a loved one’s social media. I think the other affair is that sometimes people work blogging every bit a therapeutic tool. And 1 of the women who lost her boy talked most how blogging was incredibly helpful for her. And thence she started writing quite oft together with thousands of people started next her blog. And it was rattling poignant, because it created this incredible community of back upwards where people are posting comments inwards reaction to her blog. They’re truly sharing data most their loss. So it turned into a community site for grieving. But then, the fascinating affair for me, every bit fourth dimension passed it didn’t come upwards thence naturally what she wanted to write about. She had to think truly hard together with thence she made the conclusion that she was going to halt writing. And thence she started feeling guilty because all these people are maxim “when are yous going to write again?” together with she didn’t realize that people had go subject on her every bit a beginning of their ain support. And that was truly awkward for her. So anticipating unanticipated consequences is a tricky to advise people do. But if yous go familiar amongst how social media is used, these things only go very, rattling obvious.
Jonathan Singer: Thank yous thence much for sharing your expertise most decease together with grief together with dying inwards the digital historic menses together with for making me outcry together with I truly appreciate yous taking the time.
Carla Sofka: It’s been my privilege to percentage what I’ve learned amongst others. Thanks thence much.
Transcript generously donated past times Ferd Palumbo, MSW, LSW, Clinician at the YWCA of Bergen County HealingSPACE inwards Hackensack, New Jersey. Twitter: @PalumboFC
References & Resources
- Sofka, C. (2017). Digital survivor advocacy: Fighting thence yous may never know tragedy. In S.E. Elswick (Ed.), Data Collection: Methods, ethical issues, together with hereafter directions (pp. 111-145). Hauppauge, NY: Nova Science Publishers.
- Sofka, C. (2017). Role of digital together with social media inwards supporting bereaved students. In J. Brown & S. Jimerson (Eds.), Supporting Bereaved Students at School (pp. 96-111). Oxford: Oxford University Press.
- Sofka, C., Gibson, A., & Silberman, D. (in press). Digital immortality or digital decease Contemplating digital cease of life planning. In M.H. Jacobsen (Ed.), Postmortal Society. Aldershot, UK: Ashgate/Routledge.
- Sofka, C. (2015, Oct 21). Using Digital together with Social Media inwards your Work amongst the Dying together with Bereaved. Webinar presented for the Association for Death Education together with Counseling. Information most the webinar recording is available at: http://www.adec.org/adec/Main/Continuing_Education/Webinars/Webinar_Details/ADEC_Main/Continuing-Education/We/ Webinar_Details_Folder/Webinar_Details.aspx?webinar=WEB1015
- Sofka, C. (2014). Adolescents’ work of applied scientific discipline together with social media to deal amongst grief. In K. Doka & Tucci, A.S. (Eds.), Living amongst Grief: Helping Adolescents Cope amongst Loss (pp. 205-228). Washington, DC: Hospice Foundation of America.
- Sofka, C.J., Noppe Cupit, I. & Gilbert, K. (2012). Dying, Death together with Grief inwards an Online Universe: For Counselors together with Educators. NY: Springer.
- Sofka, C.J. (1997). Social back upwards "internetworks", caskets for sale, together with more: Thanatology together with the data superhighway. Death Studies, 21, 553-574.
APA (6th ed) citation for this podcast:
Singer, J. B. (Producer). (2017, Feb 19). #109 - Death together with Grief inwards the Digital Age: Interview amongst Carla Sofka, Ph.D. [Audio Podcast]. Social Work Podcast. Retrieved from /search?q=digital-death
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